Monday, September 17, 2007

untitled

Untitled

I know, it is not the end of year yet, but I suddenly feel want to let go something. Besides, the fact of this-is-my-blog anywhere, sukati la..

I had gone through many things this year. It's starts with the-end of my-one-year-relationship-with-him, which I can handle it at first, but it kind of messy few months then when I found out he's move on already. Its sucks!. I just hold everything inside me, all by myself, and I was crying to someone for hours. That was not me at all.

Then my months horribly turn upside down with my Final Year Project. Full of commitment and emotional involved. It was so tense.

When I was struggling with my ex-move-on emotion and battling with my Final Year Project commitment, I had the biggest heartbroken ever in my life. When something you really hold, can really betrayed you, that was the turning point when I felt like empty, just empty. Until now, I still cannot believe something like that can really happen in my life. I felt vulnerable. That the only thing I never share with anyone in my life. Each day passed by in my life, I just hope that I can get through each day. I just hope everything will be back to normal but I do know that it can't be "same" again, not even close.

I kept deep inside me...

So now, I just spent most of time by myself. I hope I just see the light again. Just do everything my own way now. I spent money like enjoyed vanilla coke, I slept for hours like ugly baby, I enjoyed tv like raspberry-flavored ice cream and I just spent time with food like ecstasy.

When everyone complaining how different I am now, I felt sorry to myself. However, I can't change anytime sooner.

My life really-really messes up. It cannot be fixes anytime soon. Therefore, I seriously do not need someone complaining how my blog should be, what shoes I supposedly to wear, which language suit me, how horrible my blog was or felt annoyed with me. If you guys, just can’t stand with me or my blog or with my room, or just felt irritated with any of my way, one sentence enough to say BACK OFF!!

Could it be finally, I’m turning for home?

I'm so extremely nervous for this year Hari Raya.

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