This is how I feel right now. I hurt than ever, I tried blog about this for several entries but end up I just leave it as a draft. I tried to keep it as personal as I can, but this is my blog anyway, the place that I can tell about my feelings. I tried to pretend everything is ok, it just I couldn’t move on.
It’s been a month but I still can’t get over it. This is worst situation ever for me. For some people it’s just a small thing. But for me, its shows how you respect me as a person when you do that in front of my face. I feel like disrespectful, disappointed, and stupid. Sorry for language. I just feel that I don’t have brain when people do that to me, the situation feel like ‘you will never find it out’ spit in front of face.
I feel if you do that to me, means there are reasons behind, but believe me none of that reasons pointed the good points to me. I am the giant monster who controls freaks. I just won’t listen to anyone’s opinions so that’s why I don’t deserve the truth. That’s how I feel like now, maybe the blame should put on me because I am exactly like that. I don’t deserve anything good because I am not a good person; I behave far way from what I expected.
But I stuck here with my entire feelings surround me. Maybe I expect too much. I can’t expect people behave as I wanted to. I should change; I should give people their own room. It just, can you just tell me what you want. I’m not invisible.
I have no intention at all when I wrote all above, I just need a place that I can throw all inside of me. Yes, I feel sorry for myself because of the difficulties to get over all this crap.
I just hope that I can get over this stage soon.
I know I will regret because I wrote all this.